so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
