Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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