So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
