I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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