Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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