The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
