He had one of those small greek statue penises
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
