so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
