got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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