yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think my moral compass just broke
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
