He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
