benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
