god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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