last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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