I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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