the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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