they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
