please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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