dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
