To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
