Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
