The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
