Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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