what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
