He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
