he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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