So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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