I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
