Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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