The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize