i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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