I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
