apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
