Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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