I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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