Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
