Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
