When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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