wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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