So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
