Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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