She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
