He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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