Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
