11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
