he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize