We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
