Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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