We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
