covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
