dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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