thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
