My boss' voice literally gives me gas
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
