She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Your penis caused this!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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